E-Pranks Picks
E-Prank: Discreet Chinese
To: Perry
To: Perry
And what is that you want? I will tell you what I am looking for…..
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i like that, you tell me exactly what to do and i do it i am very obedient.
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To: Perry
More pics are always welcome!! I am recently 40, 6’5″ tall, 225lbs. I have this idea that a woman would walk down the alley, enter my yard, through the arcadia door, no talking, take off all her clothes, grab hold of the chair, and let me enter her from behind until she cums all over me….
And what do you want?
thanks to you for asking what i want, i dont want anything i already ate lunch but you want a cumalover and do you want it 1 time or 2 time spicy? i thought you wanted a number 1 that is a number 5 but you spell it wrong, american so bad at spelling!
To: Perry
I am not sure what 1time or 2 time spicy or a number 5 is??
To: Perry
Sorry dear….I dont pay….
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From: Perry
To: *****.org
you have to pay for number 5 order we already finish cooking it!!! you give me house address now and when i come you pay for lunch delivery! if you no pay you are banned forever from dragon star! we not even give you fried rice we drop on floor if you jip us! chinese people stay mad long time we hold grudge!
why you send picture of your penis? that made my dad really mad he was going to give you free eggroll but not anymore. we dont need pictures we need you to pay for you fucking lunch order, this take too long we really busy today you hurry give address now your food is getting cold
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From: Perry
To: *****.org
why you no answer you white fuck!? you waste food! fine, you banned from restaurant we better no see you, dad knows kung fu and he said he will kick you in your penis! you stay out of store!
Babe Of The Week!
Perry Cooler’s ‘Babe of the Week’!…Submit your shots to Adam@Perrycooler.com for my…I mean Perry’s viewing pleasure. and I may post it on the site!
Meet Alison, or as I call her skeezelicious!
E-Prank: The Button Collector…
From: PerryCooler@Live.com
To: *********@Yahoo.com
Why hello! My name is Perry and I was browsing Craigslist and came upon your ad! I recently had an estate sale from my dearly departed Grandparents. They have many antique buttons, and picture frames for sale. I will only sell these items to serious hobbyists though. Let me know if you want any pictures and are interested. Thank you!
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From:*********@Yahoo.com
To: PerryCooler@Live.com
would love some pic. Thanks. Teaching my daughter how to repurpose items.
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From: PerryCooler@Live.com
To: *********@Yahoo.com
I think that sounds just wonderful! I am teaching my kids how to make crafts out of various items as well. It’s the way of the future if you ask me! Here is the pic you are wanting. I have many antique picture frames as you can see, and hundreds of various buttons.
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From:*********@Yahoo.com
To: PerryCooler@Live.com
What kind of perversion is this? My daughter was in the fucking room. She almost saw this! Next time you take pictures, be sure to take your families filthy smut out of the picture. I am no longer interested in buying your items.
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From: PerryCooler@Live.com
To: *********@Yahoo.com
Excuse me mam, but I am in mourning right now. I loved Nana, and Papa with all my heart before they died a tragic AIDS related death. It is not in my character to emotionally harm you like that. How about this. Let’s start fresh, and say I sell you the pictures, AND frame for 50 dollars. If your daughter can guess how many buttons are in the jar from the picture, I will give it to her FOR FREE!
How does that deal sound!
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From:*********@Yahoo.com
To: PerryCooler@Live.com
No wonder they’re dead. Whoever lives like like is bound for death. If you condone that then the grave is where you’re heading to. Your family is fucking sick, and I don’t want any part of this conversation anymore. Leave me, and my daughter alone. Get your life together!
E-Prank: The Pony Ride…
From: Perrycooler@gmail.com
To: **********@yhaoo.com
Why hello there! I was browsing through your ad and found you to be a perfect candidate for a newly position opened at my stable. To introduce myself; I am Mr. Perry Cooler! I have been in the eccentric equestrian business for 20 years. I am looking for someone responsible, drug and alcohol free to attend to my horses. Reading through your resume, and experience, it looks like you are a prime candidate for this position. My last employee left me unexpectedly so I need some help as soon as possible! If you can be of any service, let me know. My horses are definitely in need of some servicing.
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From: **********@yhaoo.com
To: Perrycooler@gmail.com
Thank you for your reply! I would love to work at your stable! As my ad said, I have 8 years of experience working with horses in many settings. From feeding, cleaning after, and bathing. I can start as early as next weekend if needed. What would your starting pay be, and where about the area are you located?
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From: Perrycooler@gmail.com
To: **********@yhaoo.com
The pay is on a commission base, basically whatever me make, you get a percentage of. That is basically the industry standards. Starting next weekend will be just fine. I have a stallion name Sylvesster who has been acting all sorts of wild since the mating season began. He didn’t like the other attendees very much. By the way, may I ask? Are you red headed by any chance?
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From: **********@yhaoo.com
To: Perrycooler@gmail.com
I guess I am not understanding how I will be paid off of commission. Do you show your horses? Do you breed them? I guess maybe I’ll need further explanation as to what my job will actually entail. And why does it matter if I am red headed. I am not, but still confused why?
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From: Perrycooler@gmail.com
To: **********@yhaoo.com
Phew! I am glad we got that taken care of. It would be a shame to turn you away for being a ginger. Sylvester does not like the red headed folk at all!
As for your job description, it goes as follow:
1: Feed horses their breakfast
2: Clean up the stables, lie fresh straw
3: by 10 am they require their brushing
4: Go for 1-2 mile trot for their exercise and cardioascular health
5: Feed them their grain lunch to prepare for afternoon activites
6: Take them to the shelter, remove any gear that is in place
7: Set up camcorder, and laptop connection
8: By 2 PM I should be up ready to film
9: After having intercourse with Sylvester you should be on your way to go home
10: Come in next morning for the same routine.
I hope these direction are helpful. You did say that you were good riding horses, but I actually want my horse riding a human. I will have to have you sign a liability waiver in case he crushes you pelvis. I can’t lose any more workers, and I won’t take any red heads.
Let me know your plans, and we can get prepared!
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From: **********@yhaoo.com
To: Perrycooler@gmail.com
First, I am turning your email into craigslist, and if you contact me one more time I am going to call animal cruelty. You sick piece of garbage. You read my ad. I am a NORMAL adult looking to help these animals! If you are being honest then you are about to be going through some hell if I find out this is true. To me it sounds like you are some perverted piece of shit with nothing else to do. I know there is sick people out there. But I never had a problem on Criagslist. Never talk to me again. I am changing my email.
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From: Perrycooler@gmail.com
To: **********@yhaoo.com
You’re gonna call the Craigslist cops on me….OHHHHH. Oh and great sob story, I was playing Sarah Mclachlan in the background the whole time. Ok if you’re gonna be a prude about it, you can ride Sylvester, but you have to be topless. Are we game?
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From: **********@yhaoo.com
To: Perrycooler@gmail.com
I said DONT email me again you sicko. Fuck OFF!
